CryAlone moment

i was listening to the azan zohor in my office,
and suddenly i started crying.
and instead of reaching  for the tissue,

i locked my door
and continued crying
pouring really.
like a sad news that came
a heart that just  got broken
like something i knew i had to do.

(plus i also locked the door as i do look ugly crying. no joke)

i let the stream down through out the whole azan.

suddenly the saying "its ok to cry alone" keeps repeating
and it came in a good way,

repeatedly reminding me that
"go ahead, let it out
u will feel fine. i promise."

these few days, load of things are heavy in my mind.
about work of course

way forward in work, fate in where i am right now

i call this "bisikan setan"
i also call this PMS
hormones too, if you have to,

as i know Allah has plan all this out.
i need to keep faith in all his doings

the azan followed by the cryAlone moment
did bring me a faithFeeling
that i will be alright.
that i will be fine
that even as i always will (be fine)
that its okay to feel a bit defeated once in a while
to feel a little less strong
and cry.
just.